[The episode begins with an exterior shot of Fred's home as the sun rises. Fred then busts out of his home and leaps in the air]
Fred: Hey everybody, the sun came up again. [Arrives in space] How great is that? [Falls back down and lands in a drumset] Oh yeah, gotta drum. One two three. [Performs a drum solo, but accidentally throws one of the drumsticks through the window] Whoops!
[Meanwhile, Wedgie is nailing the floor before the drumstick hits him and causes him to fall through the floor]
Wedgie: FREEEEDDD!!!
[Pans down to a swimming pool, where we see Bingo handing Mr. Greenrind a drink]
Mr. Greenrind: Why thank you, Bingo. Now, if you don’t mind, please add "No drumming" to the squeaky board!
[Points to a white board filled with a long list of rules. Bingo runs down there and begins writing as we cut back to Fred]
Fred: Hi, hat! [Plays the drum] Hi, head! [Hits his head with the drumsticks]
Mr. Mel: [Listening to Fred from outside] Hmm. [He takes a sip from his drink]
Fred: Big finish!
[Plays the drums really loudly, causing Bingo to drop his marker, which lands on Mr. Greenrind's face. Fred drums a bit more before hopping outside and walking into his "Nut Hut".]
Fred: [Notices Bingo] Hey Bingo, I’m open for fun! [Goes underground and pops up right next to him] And I have lots of great ideas sloshing around in my head. [Takes his head off and starts shaking it] Slosh slosh, slosh slosh.
Bingo: Sorry, Fred, I have important work to do for Mr. Greenrind. He said if I helped him out of the Cabanas, someday, he might even make me, tanning consultant.
Fred: Wow. Tanning consultant. I think I have just what you need! [Gets out a water-gun] Who wants lotion?! [Aims it at Mr. Greenrind]
Mr. Greenrind: [Trying to avoid it] Fred. FRED!
Fred: You got it, Mr. Greenrind. [Squirts him with a ton of lotion]
Mr. Greenrind: [Now covered in lotion] Fred, I’m stuck to the ground. What kind of sun-tan lotion is this?
Fred: [Checks his water-gun. It reads, "Glue SPF 15}] Whoops. This is my glue gun. [Puts it away] Sorry, Mr. G. I’ll chip you loose with a clam shell. [Gets out a large, sharp shell]
Mr. Greenrind: No! No. Just run along somewhere else. Bingo! [Grabs him with his tongue] I’ve got a new job for you. See if Fred goes somewhere else.
Fred: Come on, Bingo. Let’s call the gang.
[Fred grabs Bingo with his tongue and bounces off somewhere. He drops him before blowing a conch shell, and in the next scene, all his friends show up]
Fred: Hey Slip and Slide. Hey Bunga. I have a plan for today, and I want you to guess what it is. Here’s a hint. [Puts on a lifeguard outfit] What kind of person wears this uniform?
Slip/Slide: A leprechaun!
Fred: Cloooooose.
Slide/Slip: A Spanish teacher?
Fred: Warmer. A lifeguard!
Slip & Slide: Where? Where?
Fred: No, I mean we could be lifeguards! Ah. To be a lifeguard.
[He imagines himself as a muscular lifeguard as everyone around him cheers]
Slip & Slide: Coconut Fred. You just won lifeguard of the year! [Hands him some flowers and a trophy] WHOOO!
Bingo: Fred. Fred! [Fred snaps out of it and looks over to him] Fred! Can we do something else? I can’t swim.
Fred: Well, if you were a lifeguard, you could save yourself.
Bingo: Fred.
Fred: Okay, you decide. Whatever comes off the top of your head, we’ll do.
[A newspaper blows onto Bingo's face]
Fred: Bingo has spoken!
Slip/Slide: He wants us to hit him in the head all day with a wad of paper? [Is about to smack Fred with the paper, but he stops him]
Fred: Wait a minute. [Opens up the newspaper] Guys. This isn’t just an ordinary wad of paper, it’s a special paper. With stories written on it. They call it a newspaper, and we can make our own. All we have to do is write a bunch of fun stories, fold them up into little wads, and then we throw ‘em at people as hard as we can. [Smacks the paper onto the ground, almost hitting Bingo]
Bingo: Phew.
Fred: It makes them happy!
[He sees a bunch of people playing in the water, before blowing his whistle. Mr. Greenrind stops him however]
Mr. Greenrind: Fred! Please don’t tell me that you want to be a lifeguard.
Fred: Well, I want to. Very very very much. [Becomes very muscular, just like in his daydream]
Mr. Greenrind: Fred!
Fred: But Bingo wants to make a newspaper, so I’m doing that instead. How excited are you?
Mr. Greenrind: To be honest, Fred, I’m worried.
Fred: I’ve never been worried. Is it fun?
Mr. Greenrind: No.
Fred: Does it help?
Mr. Greenrind: No!
Fred: Then why do you do it?
Mr. Greenrind: Okay, what’s this about a newspaper?
Fred: It’s gonna be great! I can already picture all the exciting stories I can write about.
Mr. Greenrind: Oh, please don’t.
Fred: What if…pogo stick pirates attacked the island? [Everything he describes actually happens while he speaks] When suddenly…they were all sucked in by a big water snout. And what if a giant octopus tried to put Bingo on top of his ice cream sundae?! Only to find out he has a cherry allergy. [The octopus spits out Bingo, whom lands on Greenrind's face] What if alien invaders came from a faraway world? What if…?
Everyone: Just make your paper!
Fred: Yes! You’re just as excited as me! [Swaps hats] Breaking news, Coconut Fred starts island newspaper. [Runs off] Read all about it!
[He knocks over Greenrind with the paper. Meanwhile, Wedgie is still nailing his ship, as Fred walks by writing his newspaper]
Fred: Coconut Fred took a walk down the beach, period. Read all about it! [Tosses the paper at Wedgie, who falls into the ocean]
Wedgie: Help me! Help me!
Fred: [Hears his screams, before writing down more stuff] Suddenly Fred hears cries for help! Read all about it!
[Throws another paper at Wedgie, causing him to fall back into the ocean. Fred then blows his whistles and jumps into the water]
Fred: Fred decided to combine his love for writing newspaper stories and his desire to be a lifeguard. Just as Wedgie was going under, Fred reached out with his hand…but then he had to use his hand to keep writing a story. With his hand busy, Fred decided to reach out with his foot! [Tosses Wedgie with his foot]
Wedgie: Oh! Aah! Ow!
Fred: [Muffled underwater] Thanks to Fred and his foot, Wedgie was saved! [Gets back on land] And thanks to Wedgie, Fred had a great story! Read all about it!
[As Wedgie dusts himself off, he gets smacked with yet another paper, before fading to the pool, where we see Greenrind yawn]
Fred: [Quietly] It’s Mr. Greenrind’s nap time, and today’s newspaper reporter Coconut Fred is in his hammock to cover the story. [Greenrind groans and looks to the other side] Mr. Greenrind is trying really hard to sleep, but for some reason, HE CAN’T! [Greenrind tries to sleep again as he picks his nose, but he's awaken by Fred] He’s awake again, and he’s picking his nose.
Mr. Greenrind: I am not!
Slip/Slide: Mr. Greenrind’s picking his nose!
Slide/Slip: I knew it, he’s a booger farmer.
Mr. Greenrind: I AM NOT!
Fred: Thanks for the story, Mr. Greenrind! Mr. Greenrind denies boogie farming. Read all about it!
[He tosses a newspaper up Greenrind's nose, as the screen fades to Fred & Slide & Slide in the Nut Hut]
Fred: Okay. Everyone loves the paper, and I can tell they want more. Much more. Come on, everybody. It doesn't matter what you write about, just so you'll write a lot! Let's all work together and make as many papers as we can!
[Fades to Slip & Slide writing papers]
Slip/Slide: Extry, extry! Muh brother has a crab on his nose.
Slide/Slip: [Notices the crab] Ouch! Read all about it! [The other throws his paper at him]
[Meanwhile, Mr. Greenrind gets smacked with a newspaper, then gets pounced by Bunga. He gets up, but he keeps getting papers thrown at him. He gets buried in papers, which end up taking up most of the island]
Mr. Greenrind: FRED! [Fred comes in] I know you're just trying to make us happy, and I know that you're very excited about your newspaper.
Fred: Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very.
Mr. Greenrind: Yes, and I know that when you're excited about something, it's hard for you to quit.
Fred: It's impossible. I can't.
Mr. Greenrind: Unless, of course, you become distracted by...something new that you're also excited about!
Fred: [Staring at a golden whistle] What? Oh, I'm sorry. I was busy smiling at my shiny whistle.
Mr. Greenrind: What I'm asking, Fred, is there anything, anything at all that you might like to do, other than making your newspaper?
Fred: Well, I'm still very very very excited about becoming a lifeguard, but for me to give up my newspaper, someone would have to be in great danger.
[Greenrind suddenly rushes to the ocean]
Mr. Greenrind: Everybody into the water, especially if you can't swim! [Everyone rushes towards the ocean]
Fred: [Holding Bingo] Bingo can't swim. [Greenrind grabs Bingo before returning to the ocean alongside everyone else]
Mr. Greenrind: Oh, look at me. I'm drowning.
[A bunch of other threats, including pirates, aliens, and a giant octopus also show up and begin terrorizing everyone]
Fred: [Whistles] Goodbye, Newspaper Fred, [Changes into a lifeguard suit] and hello Lifeguard Fred.
[Various artists shots pop up, showing Fred saving everyone from the threats. We then cut to Fred putting Bingo on the ground]
Fred: There you go, Bingo.
Bingo: Thank you, Fred.
Fred: [On the megaphone] Mr. Greenrind! Want me to save ya?
Mr. Greenrind: [Swimming while Fred's on top on him] No, please don't.
Fred: You got it. Hang on, Wedgie. [Jumps off him and heads to the shore, where Wedgie is seen lyng on the ground] I know CPR. In with the good lemon juice...and out with the bad lemon juice!
[Presses onto Wedgie's chest, causing him to squirt out a bunch of lemon juice which gets into Greenrind's eyes]
Mr. Greenrind: [Screams] My eyes!
Fred: Wish me luck, everybody. I'm gonna save the giant octopus.
[Everyone groans as Fred hops into the sea and saves the octopus]
Fred: And now for the pirates!
[The octopus terrorizes everyone as Fred hops into the sea and saves the pirates]
Mr. Greenrind: [Runs away] Oh, I'm out of here, man!
Fred: I'm a lifeguard! [Points to the chaos] A lifeguard who knows a great story when he sees one. [Writes down a paper and tosses it] Read all about it!
[He smacks Greenrind with the paper, causing him to fall. He sighs and picks up the newspaper]
Fred: Coconut Fred saves the day! [His picture on the newpaper comes to life] Yay, me!
[He throws the newspaper at the screen, ending the episode]